Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
