Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
