dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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