K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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