He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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