I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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