please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
