Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think we might need a safe word for this...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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