I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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