I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
