I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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