overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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