I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
