HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
