Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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