question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
