we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
