And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize