Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
