well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
