Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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