So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
