thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
