I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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