Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
