What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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