I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
