we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
