Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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