I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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