Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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