I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize