Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
