So drunk, too bad you don't want this
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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