I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
