I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
