Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize