I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
