She is in my trunk
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
