Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found a bag of teeth...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
