This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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