I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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