just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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