Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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