i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My balls are so social today.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
