i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
