I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My penis needs a shock collar
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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