I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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