apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
