The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
