who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
