Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
