Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
