I heard we made out
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
