it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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