I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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