It's like God shit irony all over that family
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
