dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
